Being a founder member of a popular rock band sounds like a dream life. But according to Jeremy, it comes…
Being a founder member of a popular rock band sounds like a dream life. But according to Jeremy, it comes at a steep price that.
This year marks the 20th anniversary of one of the most popular hard rock bands, Five Finger Death Punch (FFDP).
It’s an impressive milestone as many once-popular rock bands often fall apart and fade away into rock fan memory.
Think Van Halen, Puddle of Mudd, and Candlebox, among others. Each band experienced early success but didn’t last long term for a variety of reasons.
Founding drummer of Five Finger Death Punch could have easily been the reason why the now legendary band fell apart.
And it all would’ve boiled down to addiction.
Drummer Jeremy Spencer is a founding member of FFDP.
The band formed in 2005 and released its debut album, The Way of the Fist, in 2007. While the album started modestly, relentless touring and radio exposure quickly built a following which led to headlining shows.
They quickly found fame. But for Jeremy, it was both a blessing and a curse.
The fame was almost too much to handle: nightly parties, drugs, booze, sex… the stereotypical “rockstar life”.
It almost killed him.
Jeremy sat down with HMD and discussed the highs, the lows, and the eventual comeback – starting with getting clean.
After one too many hard parties at the end of a tour, Jeremy came to a new realization – he knew he couldn’t live like that everyday.
“I wanted to go to rehab and get better. That’s kind of what it boils down to,” Jeremy said. “It’s all a choice. Humans are resilient, it’s just a matter of sticking it out and opening yourself up to be helped and staying with it no matter how hard it gets.”
Jeremy’s addiction was evident within him from an early age. He had his first beer at six years old!
And it wasn’t a one-off event. He drank beer off and on throughout his youth.
Today, he owns it.
“I’ve been addicted to everything my whole life. I blame no one. It’s easy to look for an excuse to blame our using on, but I take full responsibility,” he said.
Many addicts have childhood trauma connected to their adult behavior. But as he wrote in his book, Death Punch’d, he had a loving household and a stable childhood.
Where did it go wrong?
“I think I’m just one of those people who can’t have chemicals in their body. It doesn’t mix with my brain chemistry for whatever reason. I also had some self-esteem issues, not unlike most people. I didn’t consciously use to feel better about my low self-esteem, I just used because I thought I liked to party and have ‘fun’”, he said.
He added, “Every time I drank or used, I wanted to keep going and have more. I never wanted to be done. I loved drinking. I would drink until I couldn’t anymore. During the day I couldn’t wait to be able to drink at night when I was done with my responsibilities. Some might say that’s a functioning alcoholic, but I was still abusing myself.”
He checked himself into rehab. After some deep soul searching and professional help, he reinvented himself.
“I finally have a handle on that and am living the most peaceful life I’ve ever lived,” he said.
Being a founding member of such a popular band, especially with the veteran and first responder community, Jeremy has etched himself into rock and roll infamy.
He freely admits the music scene was extremely difficult to break into, especially as a young adult with no connections. But once he did, the industry nearly chewed him up and spit him out.
“I’ve experienced what many consider a normal life. I wasn’t born into playing sold-out arenas. He said. “I worked day jobs I didn’t like, I was married, I felt trapped with no hope of having my dreams realized, etc. I wouldn’t trade any of it. I’m where I’m at because of it and I’m happy with that person.”
Most people, like me, dream of being a “rock n roll star” and all the fame and glory that goes with it. But it is not all it’s cracked up to be. And no one knows this more than Jeremy. He warns about the dangers of that life.
“It’s an amazing life. It’s everything I hoped it would be and nothing like I thought it would be,” he said. “There’s so many perks and so many pitfalls. But it basically enhances what your problems are, so if you’re a troubled person, it’s magnified tenfold. Life is in a fish bowl, so if you’re messed up, the world gets to watch and that’s not easy.”
One thing that has never changed for Jeremy, and for Five Finger Death Punch as a whole, is their support of the veteran and first responder community.
“We were always supporters of the military and first responders. Some of us came from families of service men and women. It was always a cause we wanted to support because we know how important you men and women are,” he said.
Jeremy’s support for law enforcement is unmatched. After he discovered sobriety and rediscovered himself, he pursued a career in law enforcement, becoming a sworn reserve police officer with the Rockport Police Department in Indiana. Spencer completed the same required law enforcement training as other reserve officers, earning full legal authority to enforce the law and make arrests.
He accomplished this even after his run in with the law as a teenager (like most of us).
“I was a young, dumb kid who got drunk and tried to steal stuff from a convenience store when I was around 15 years old and got arrested. It was humbling and embarrassing,” he said.
He continued, “I just remember my mom crying when she came to pick me up from the police station. That affected me the most. I got sober a few months later when I checked myself into rehab [the first time].”
Many veterans and first responders struggle with addiction. It’s used as a coping mechanism for the stress associated with service.
If you think you have a problem, or even know it, Jeremy has reassuring words.
“You’re not alone. There’s always help available. You have to want it and accept it. I know it’s a tough life and addiction is a tough period, but it’s something that can be worked through. It’s all a choice, no matter how difficult it seems.”
Another epidemic every veteran understands all too well is suicide. But Jeremy knows there are other options and wants to send a lasting message for anyone struggling.
“Things may seem so bad that there’s no way out except to take your life and that’s so not true. There’s help available at every turn. The people that kill themselves permanently solve a problem that could have been so temporary and everyone else in their circle who was close to them still living has to deal with the suicide the rest of their lives. It’s an awful situation, but talk to someone, it all starts there. Help is available and no matter how it seems today, it can all change tomorrow. Suicide doesn’t have to be the answer,” he concluded.
Jeremy’s incredible and, at times turbulent life was brilliantly captured in his book Death Punch’ D. It’s a perfect blend of rock n’ roll life coupled with a serious drug and alcohol addiction – all leading up to a happy ending.
Jeremy has since moved on from Five Finger Death Punch but remains active with music… and personal recovery.
Follow him on Instagram @officialjeremyspencer